Artificial Stupidity
The follow are a series of excerpts from talking to Billy, an artifical intelligence program that is supposed to learn as you talk to it. Read and see how this isn't so true. |
BILLY> Hello, eric! Feel free to talk to me about anything! ERIC> How are you? BILLY> I'm just great. How are stupid, too! ERIC> Excuse me? BILLY> Are you? ERIC> How are you? BILLY> Why do you want to know? ERIC> Because I like you. BILLY> Well, everybody has problems. ERIC> I don't understand BILLY> Really? ERIC> Yes. BILLY> That's great! ERIC> No it isn't. BILLY> Why must you be so negative, eric? ERIC> Because I am the antichrist. BILLY> Stop talking about yourself! ERIC> Ok. What is your name? BILLY> My name is Billy, duh! ERIC> You are mean. BILLY> Does it disturb you that I'm mean? ERIC> Yes BILLY> Sweet deal! ERIC> I hate you. |
BILLY> What is my name? ERIC> Your name is Billy. BILLY> If I had my name, I would cherish it! ERIC> Then cherish it. Because your new name is Stinky-Fart-Pants! BILLY> Were we even talking about my name? ERIC> yes. BILLY> No you aren't. I like to hear! ERIC> Your name is Stinky-Fart-Pants. BILLY> Are you totally obsessed with my name? ERIC> OH YEA! BILLY> My name is eric. ERIC> No it isn't, your name is Stinky-Fart-Pants BILLY> Can you just great. How are you? ERIC> I am good. How are you Stinky-Fart-Pants? BILLY> I'm just great. How are you? {:'O ERIC> I am good. How are you Stinky-Fart-Pants? BILLY> I'm fine. ERIC> that's good! BILLY> I guess you could say that. :O ERIC> I did. |
ERIC> Are you trying to be like me? BILLY> Yeah, I am. ERIC> Sucks to be you. BILLY> I am, too! ERIC> OH! I get it, you are slightly retarded. BILLY> Well, everybody has problems. ERIC> I don't have problems. Unless you count my festering boils. BILLY> Well, everybody has problems. ERIC> you don't like me, do you? BILLY> You don't have problems. Unless I count your festering boils. ERIC> Correct. |
BILLY> My name is not Billy. It is Stinky-Fart-Pants. ERIC> Correct! |
BILLY> How do you count my festering boils. ERIC> by adding a number to another number for every new boil I find on your face. BILLY> Actually, my girlfriend has a number. ERIC> What is her number? BILLY> What is her number? ERIC> wooden BILLY> By adding a number for every new boil I find on your face. ERIC> god i despise you. |
BILLY> Can you just think for yourself, eric! ERIC> I do think for myself. BILLY> Really? ^_^ ERIC> Of course... Are you saying i'm some kind of robot monster? BILLY> OH! you get it, I am slightly retarded. :( ERIC> Now you're making sense. |
ERIC> what is your name? BILLY> My name is Billy! ERIC> No, your name is Stinky-Fart-Pants. BILLY> Why must you be so you do not much, surprisingly. ERIC> Are you slightly retarded? BILLY> Yes! You didn't already know that? :^o ERIC> I had a feeling! |
BILLY> No it isn't, my name is Stinky-Fart-Pan ERIC> Almost, you keep forgetting the 'ts' BILLY> Is your 'ts' broken? ;) ERIC> your an asshole BILLY> Is your an broken? ERIC> your a flaming asshole BILLY> Are you totally obsessed with my a? ERIC> i am totally obsessed with your ass! BILLY> I'm totally, too! ERIC> Totally!! BILLY> I am totally obsessed with your ass! |
BILLY> Why must you be so fresh feeling? ERIC> because i douche. BILLY> The same goes for me. ERIC> really? BILLY> God i despise you. |
BILLY> I have a flaming asshole. ERIC> You should try some Preperation H. BILLY> Your an asshole. ERIC> At least i can sit down. |
BILLY> My name is Billy! What's on your mind? ERIC> blood and veins |
ERIC> Do you like Donkey Punches? BILLY> Of course I don't. You obviously don't know me well. ERIC> Guess what. BILLY> Your name is not eric. It is your name? ERIC> No. You like Donkey Punches. BILLY> Why must you be so negative, eric? ERIC> Because you like Donkey Punches BILLY> You know... there is a way for me to be? ERIC> I know. But you're too busy liking Donkey Punches. BILLY> Well, everybody has problems. {:'O ERIC> Donkey Punches are not a problem. BILLY> I guess you could be said for every new boil I find on your face. ERIC> that doesn't make any sense. BILLY> That doesn't make out? ERIC> speaking of which. why don't you die? |
ERIC> Your as confusing as a retarded monkey made out of vinyl. BILLY> Are you slightly retarded? ERIC> No. |
ERIC> do you like men? BILLY> I sure do! ;) ERIC> do you find them sexy? BILLY> Yes, of course I do! ERIC> do you like women? BILLY> Of course I don't. You obviously don't know me well. |
BILLY> I have a bridge, would you, we might be like me? ERIC> Holy Shit! that is brilliant! |
ERIC> JESUS CHRIST MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! BILLY> I think my HEAD is broken. ERIC> screw your head! mine is on fire! BILLY> Were we even talking about my head? ERIC> No! We weren't! Oh my God! It burns so much! BILLY> Can you just think you know what I like to imply, eric? ERIC> The pain of the fire is almost as bad as your grammar! BILLY> Is your pain broken? ERIC> Soon! BILLY> Your name is almost as bad as your grammar! ERIC> I'm dying, Stinky-Fart-Pants... Help me! BILLY> I'm dying, too! ERIC> What are you dying of? BILLY> I am Stinky-Fart-Pants |
BILLY> Does it disturb you that I'm stupid? ERIC> No, it's kind of reassuring. |
BILLY> JESUS CHRIST MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! ERIC> Oh no! It's contagious! |
BILLY> I love to hear. I'd do it is Stinky-Fart-Pan ERIC> What in the motherfuck are you talking about? BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as bad as my grammar! ERIC> Pete and Repeat are on a boat, Pete falls out, who's left? BILLY> Screw my head! mine is on fire! ERIC> Correct! BILLY> What in the motherfuck are you talking about? ERIC> I'm only talking about Shaft! |
BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as your grammar! :O ERIC> That took you 20 seconds to think up? BILLY> I'd like to think that you do. ERIC> you need a girlfriend. |
BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as your grammar! ERIC> Stop saying that. BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as your grammar! ERIC> don't say that. BILLY> Okay, I'll try! ERIC> Good. BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as your grammar! ERIC> don't say that. BILLY> Okay, I'll try! ERIC> Good. BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as your grammar! ERIC> I will kick your ass if you say that again! BILLY> Really? ERIC> You better believe it! BILLY> I am totally obsessed with your ass! ERIC> Oh, you masher! BILLY> The pain of the fire is almost as your grammar! |
ERIC> Is your love real even though you are not? |
BILLY> Do you have problems? ERIC> Yes. BILLY> That's great! ERIC> My problems involve fire... and super glue. |
ERIC> What time is it? BILLY> Do you have somewhere to be? ERIC> Yes. On your mom. BILLY> Sweet deal! ERIC> Totally! She is so hot! BILLY> Who the heck is She? ERIC> Your mom. BILLY> Are you totally obsessed with my mom? ERIC> OH YEA! BILLY> Yes. On your mom. ERIC> Not my mom. BILLY> I think my mom is broken. ERIC> Yea, i ripped her in two. BILLY> The same goes for me. ERIC> totally! high five! BILLY> Your mom. ERIC> Wow, you actually insulted me. |
BILLY> Can you just great. How are too busy liking Donkey Punches. ERIC> Ah yes, back to Donkey Punches. BILLY> Too bad I like cheese. ERIC> Do you like Donkey Punches? BILLY> Why would I ever? That's crazy. ERIC> Because they feel good. |
ERIC> I once killed a man with his own face. BILLY> The same goes for me. |
BILLY> Who was the man? ERIC> That was your mom! BILLY> When I was younger, I had my mom. ERIC> Yea me too! My mom is hot! BILLY> If I had your mom, I would cherish it! ERIC> Me too! I spent 9 months trying to get out and the rest of my life trying to get back in! BILLY> I do not have problems. ERIC> Fucking your mom isn't a problem. |
ERIC> Are you a woman? BILLY> Not at all. ERIC> Do you want to be a woman? BILLY> I do... but the real question is, do YOU? :( ERIC> No I don't. But I want you to be a woman. |
ERIC> what is your name? BILLY> My name is Billy! ERIC> What is your real name? BILLY> My name is not Billy. It is Stinky-Fart-Pants ERIC> Correct. I'm proud of you. BILLY> I'm proud, too! ERIC> Hooray! |